RSS Feed

Monthly Archives: September 2017

The Lazy Husband….

Wow! What a title. I mean as husbands we are doing everything possible to show our wives the love of Christ, right?

I don’t know where you are with loving your wife but I want to share something God has been showing me this year.

Solomon wrote in the book of Proverbs,” It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.” ( 25:24 ESV) and, “A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike;”( 27:15 ESV).

Husbands I am not saying that we are always the reason for our wives being unhappy but I am willing to bet that most of the times we are part of the reason. I know from my own experience that some of that “dripping on the rainy days” could have been avoided had I listened better(paid more attention) or help out more with lightening her burden at home. Or how about one of these; picking up my own dirty socks or cleaning up my own messes.

I want to state here that I don’t believe that my wife is quarrelsome in any way. I just have been feeling convicted lately by Ephesians 5. Where it says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ( 5:25‭-‬26).

Now I might not be a bad husband and I may even be a good husband. However I fall short here, especially in the way of dying to myself for her. Let’s face it, I am a bit selfish, most times I put my needs before hers. It is silly but a great example of this is that we watch television separately because I may not love what she is watching.

I have read many books on this topic. From Everyman’s Marriage, Love and Respect, Point Man and many more. Where these great books do so much justice to the topic, none of them break down Ephesians 5:25 and give example of it from Jesus’s life, so that is what I am briefly going to do.. I mean it does say, ” as Christ loved the church.”

Before we start let me say that no matter what our gender is; we are called the bride of Christ. I know to some this might make you feel a bit emasculated, but be a Berean and you will be ok with it. (Acts 17:11)

First to be a husband like Jesus we need to not condemn our wives. An example of this from Jesus’s life is found in John 8. When the crowd brought Jesus the woman caught in adultery, he didn’t condemn her to death as the crowd wanted and the law required, but he showed great mercy by saying, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.” ( vs. 11)

How many times have we as husbands condemned our wives for something they said or did instead of showing them the mercy or grace they needed to help them feel loved and /or secure?

A second thing Jesus did as the perfect husband, was to show his wife her true potential, all the while calling it out in her. The story of Levi from the book of Luke comes to mind here. In Jewish heritage they would name their children after an attribute or maybe someone they wanted their children to emulate, or sometimes even a profession.

For example my parents named me Kristopher James Fisher. My mother, as I am told, loved Kris Kristofferson and I had an uncle and I think a great grandfather name Jim. Now neither of my parents love the LORD so I know this was not planned but the meaning behind my name goes like this: Kristopher means “Carrier of Christ” and James means “One who follows”.

So back to Levi, his parents probably named him Levi because they wanted him to be a Levitical priest or maybe they were Levites. I don’t really know, one thing I do know is that he wasn’t named after Levi jeans. All we truly know is that his name was Levi and that he was a tax collector. People hated tax collectors. (Come to think of it people really don’t like them now either. )

So we have Levi here possibly a disappointment to his parents, himself and others around him, but Jesus calls him out. Luke 5:27-28 says,” After this he went out and saw a tax collector named Levi, sitting at the tax booth. And he said to him, ‘Follow me.’ And leaving everything, he rose and followed him.”

Levi was a new creation because of Jesus. Jesus even changed his name to Matthew. Not just that but because of Jesus loving him and making him feel secure Matthew penned the Gospel according to Matthew.

Jesus knew Levi’s full potential and pulled it out of him, as husbands, do we do this with our wives? Do we make them feel so loved and so secure that it causes them to blossom?

Another thing Jesus did for his bride was to pray for her. And when I say prayed for her I mean the kind of prayers where you are on your knees with you face in the dirt. Luke says this about how hard Jesus prayed:”And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” (22:44)

When we pray for our wives like Jesus did for us, anything is possible! However, these prayers need to be specific, and not of a selfish nature.

Jesus did other things to lift up his bride that we can find in scripture. He led her, healed her, forgave her and ultimately died for her. Paul challenges us in the book of Ephesians when he says,”Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (5:1‭-‬2)

Men; Brothers we need to step up and love our wives properly.

Father, thank you so much for all you do for me. Especially for giving me one of your princesses. Father help me to mimic Christ’s love for us by showering my wife with it. Help me to love her the way you do and help me to treat her like the princess that she is. In Jesus’s name, Amen

If you like this posting please let me know and share it with other brothers you may have.


Every Man’s Marraige, Steve Arterburn, 2001

Love and Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, 2004

Point Man, Steve Farrar, 1990

I would also like to thank

Disobedient Follower

I wanted to label this posting the Lazy Follower but seeing how laziness is a form of disobedience this title will work better.

One passage that sticks out in God’s Word about being a lazy follower is, “By slothfulness the roof sinketh in; and through idleness of the hands the house leaketh (Ecclesiastes 10:18 RV).”

I believe this statement to be true and there are examples from my life that echo this fact. Think about it, when do we stumble and backslide the most? When is it hardest to display love, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness and especially self- control and faithfulness? The answer is, when we are lazy.

To put this Bible verse into perspective I would like to use the illustration of a barn’s roof. Most people unless you live in the city have seen barns with roofs that are either showing signs of collapsing or have collapsed. Barns that have healthy roofs belong to diligent farmers whom are constantly inspecting their barns roof beams. They go over them with a fine tooth comb, constantly looking for cracks or wet marks or other signs of distress. They do this because those barns house their crops, their equipment or their livestock. They house something very important to their way of life and being lazy with the upcare of the roof could destroy what they and their families have been doing to support themselves.

It is tragic, but we do this in our spiritual lives. We get lazy. I know I do. In fact I am just coming out of a season where I felt there was this huge distance between God and myself. What happened? Well I have been lazy! I have just been going through the movements.

I don’t know if many of you follow my page but I had this plan. A posting a week, but that hasn’t been going very well. Why….laziness. I also was committed to reading the bible everyday and praying everyday but what happened? Laziness. How about finding a brother where we could mutually disciple one another or how about this one: leading my family in the ways of the LORD. Again, LAZINESS!!

There is a cure for this pandemic going on in my life and maybe in yours. We can choose to be like those farmers who have the barns with the strong roofs. We can choose to live by the Spirit. We can choose to live like Christ.

Paul knew that laziness was a problem in the church when it came to spiritual disciplines. He wrote things like:

  • I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

(2 Timothy 4:7 ESV)

  • Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it.

(1 Corinthians 9:24 )

  • So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air.

(1 Corinthians 9:26 )

And the author of the book of Hebrews wrote:

  • Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

(Hebrews 12:1 ESV)

To inspire His readers of the importance of the war against spiritual laziness ( which is really a war against the flesh, a war against Satan!) GOD stated through these authors the importance of having spiritual disciplines.

I mean who ever ran a race or boxed while being lazy. You can’t! You will lose! Satan wants us to lose, he wants us to feel like we are far from the Father. Satan doesn’t want us to succeed in leading our families in the way of righteousness. He wants our marriages to fail. And he wants our character to be spoiled not only before God but also with man.

In Galatians 5 Paul states the fruits of the flesh, but curious enough laziness is not there. I believe it should be and my reason for this is all of the fruits of the Spirit require action. Love is an action. So is gentleness and kindness. Patience is the outcome of enduring and self-control is enduring through struggles. Action, action, action.

I believe that if we walk according to the Spirit there will be no room for laziness. God has set up some tools to help us with walking in His Spirit. First He has given us a portion of his Spirit, I mean the Spirit is even called the Helper (John 14:26). He has also given us His Word (2 Tim 3:16), but not to be underestimated He has also given us brothers and sisters to help us along the way (Hebrews 10:25 & Gala. 6:1-2).


Father, I know I have lived in the flesh way to often. But I also know that you have and are and will help me to be more intentional in how I walk with you. You are the divine Potter please continue to smooth all of my short comings out of me. In Jesus name, Amen.

I would love you comment, so if you feel inclined please leave some.

GOD bless.

Compare and Contrast

Often times while reading my Bible I come upon people in the pages that God put there for me (not only for me but for you as well) to come across. I always compare these people and their walks to my own. Without judgement of course. I compare them to see how I am doing; the bad or lawless people and the people that show some righteousness.

I never sit here saying to myself well I am better than this group or that group; instead I examine myself to see what things I have in common with them. Afterall, in 2 Corinthians 13 Paul tells us to,”Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves.(v5.).”

So God has directed me to the book of Jeremiah. While reading this book I am saying to myself,” Wow there are aspects of my life that match the people of Judah.” However I would also like to think that if you soberly examine your walk that this might be true for you as well.

In chapter 35 we encounter two groups of people, the tribe of Judah and the Rechabites


Some of the sins that the people of Judah were committing are: idol worship (but not just like; Hey, I am on team Molech or team Baal but they would sacrifice their own children to these idols), the murdering of the prophets of Yahwah, lying, not honoring their parents, and the list goes on and on. They have broken all 10 of the commandments. Wow I have been there! If you were honest so have you.

James says,”For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it. For he who said, “Do not commit adultery,” also said, “Do not murder.” If you do not commit adultery but do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law.(James 2:10‭-‬11)

How many of us hate someone in their lives? Well Jesus says that is murder (Matt 5:22) . How many of us have looked at someone of the opposite sex and said wow that is really nice? Again according to Jesus that is adultery (Matt 5:28). All of us in one way or another have something in common with Judah.


GOD decided that he is going to test the Rechabites by having them come into the one of the chambers of the temple of the LORD and to have them drink wine.

Two things here: God is always testing us and this piece of scripture is not condemning the drinking of alcohol but is rather about obedience.

I love their response to Jeremiah. “We will drink no wine, for Jehonadab the son of Rechab, our father, commanded us, ‘You shall not drink wine, neither you nor your sons forever. We have obeyed the voice of Jehonadab the son of Rechab, our father, in all that he commanded us, to drink no wine all our days, ourselves, our wives, our sons, or our daughters,(Jeremiah 35:6‭, ‬8).

In these verses here we also see that Jehonadab commanded them to live in tents, not to own land or to not build houses for themselves. He also commanded them not to own seed, to plant it or to own vineyards. And at the end of it he quoted God from Exodus 20:12 by saying if you do these thing it will go well with you in the land that you are sojourning.

This group of people had two really excellent (at least in my opinion) men of God that were of their lineage. Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law and Elijah the Tishbite.

I remember the first time I read James 5:17 which states,” Elijah was a human being just like us. He prayed that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years! (NCV) And of course I was like I am nothing like Elijah. He is so perfect and I am so flawed. God used him in such mighty ways because of his obedience.

Now when I try to compare myself to people like this I fall short. But it gives me something to yearn for. Something that I know the Holy Spirit is going to complete in me one day.

In the end of this chapter Judah gets carried away by Nebuchadnezzar and God awards the Rechabites by saying, “Because you have obeyed the command of Jehonadab, your father and kept all his precepts and done all that he commanded you, therefore thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel: Jehonadab the son of Rechab shall never lack a man to stand before me.” (v35:19)

Wow! I would love to have God say this to me if I were so faithful. How about you? I love how God uses His word to convict me of my short comings.


Oh Abba Father, please continue to use your Word to convict me of my sins. Please use your magnificent awesome power to change me. LORD, please create in me a new heart and a steadfast spirit for you. In Jesus’ name Amen.