RSS Feed

The Lazy Husband….

Wow! What a title. I mean as husbands we are doing everything possible to show our wives the love of Christ, right?

I don’t know where you are with loving your wife but I want to share something God has been showing me this year.

Solomon wrote in the book of Proverbs,” It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.” ( 25:24 ESV) and, “A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike;”( 27:15 ESV).

Husbands I am not saying that we are always the reason for our wives being unhappy but I am willing to bet that most of the times we are part of the reason. I know from my own experience that some of that “dripping on the rainy days” could have been avoided had I listened better(paid more attention) or help out more with lightening her burden at home. Or how about one of these; picking up my own dirty socks or cleaning up my own messes.

I want to state here that I don’t believe that my wife is quarrelsome in any way. I just have been feeling convicted lately by Ephesians 5. Where it says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ( 5:25‭-‬26).

Now I might not be a bad husband and I may even be a good husband. However I fall short here, especially in the way of dying to myself for her. Let’s face it, I am a bit selfish, most times I put my needs before hers. It is silly but a great example of this is that we watch television separately because I may not love what she is watching.

I have read many books on this topic. From Everyman’s Marriage, Love and Respect, Point Man and many more. Where these great books do so much justice to the topic, none of them break down Ephesians 5:25 and give example of it from Jesus’s life, so that is what I am briefly going to do.. I mean it does say, ” as Christ loved the church.”

Before we start let me say that no matter what our gender is; we are called the bride of Christ. I know to some this might make you feel a bit emasculated, but be a Berean and you will be ok with it. (Acts 17:11)

First to be a husband like Jesus we need to not condemn our wives. An example of this from Jesus’s life is found in John 8. When the crowd brought Jesus the woman caught in adultery, he didn’t condemn her to death as the crowd wanted and the law required, but he showed great mercy by saying, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.” ( vs. 11)

How many times have we as husbands condemned our wives for something they said or did instead of showing them the mercy or grace they needed to help them feel loved and /or secure?

A second thing Jesus did as the perfect husband, was to show his wife her true potential, all the while calling it out in her. The story of Levi from the book of Luke comes to mind here. In Jewish heritage they would name their children after an attribute or maybe someone they wanted their children to emulate, or sometimes even a profession.

For example my parents named me Kristopher James Fisher. My mother, as I am told, loved Kris Kristofferson and I had an uncle and I think a great grandfather name Jim. Now neither of my parents love the LORD so I know this was not planned but the meaning behind my name goes like this: Kristopher means “Carrier of Christ” and James means “One who follows”.

So back to Levi, his parents probably named him Levi because they wanted him to be a Levitical priest or maybe they were Levites. I don’t really know, one thing I do know is that he wasn’t named after Levi jeans. All we truly know is that his name was Levi and that he was a tax collector. People hated tax collectors. (Come to think of it people really don’t like them now either. )

So we have Levi here possibly a disappointment to his parents, himself and others around him, but Jesus calls him out. Luke 5:27-28 says,” After this he went out and saw a tax collector named Levi, sitting at the tax booth. And he said to him, ‘Follow me.’ And leaving everything, he rose and followed him.”

Levi was a new creation because of Jesus. Jesus even changed his name to Matthew. Not just that but because of Jesus loving him and making him feel secure Matthew penned the Gospel according to Matthew.

Jesus knew Levi’s full potential and pulled it out of him, as husbands, do we do this with our wives? Do we make them feel so loved and so secure that it causes them to blossom?

Another thing Jesus did for his bride was to pray for her. And when I say prayed for her I mean the kind of prayers where you are on your knees with you face in the dirt. Luke says this about how hard Jesus prayed:”And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” (22:44)

When we pray for our wives like Jesus did for us, anything is possible! However, these prayers need to be specific, and not of a selfish nature.

Jesus did other things to lift up his bride that we can find in scripture. He led her, healed her, forgave her and ultimately died for her. Paul challenges us in the book of Ephesians when he says,”Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (5:1‭-‬2)

Men; Brothers we need to step up and love our wives properly.

Father, thank you so much for all you do for me. Especially for giving me one of your princesses. Father help me to mimic Christ’s love for us by showering my wife with it. Help me to love her the way you do and help me to treat her like the princess that she is. In Jesus’s name, Amen

If you like this posting please let me know and share it with other brothers you may have.


Every Man’s Marraige, Steve Arterburn, 2001

Love and Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, 2004

Point Man, Steve Farrar, 1990

I would also like to thank

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: